By a miracle cast down from some X-rated version
of heaven, this week's most talked-about political story has absolutely
nothing to do with Donald Trump. Instead, the Internet's attention has
been focused on the delicious news that Ted Cruz's Twitter account liked
some porn. It happened Monday night, and the Cruz camp quickly spun the
situation as far away from their boss as possible. They rescinded the
like and contacted Twitter. They pinned it on one of the multiple
staffers who allegedly have access to the account. Cruz, they insisted,
had nothing to do with it. All of these things could be true, but it's
also true that if a politician of Cruz's stature gets caught ogling
threesome stepmom porn called "Dick For Two," there is a 100 percent
chance he's going to find some way to deny it. Though we'll probably
never know the truth, the Ted Cruz porn train has left the station for
good, and for this, Twitter, we thank you.
Of course, Cruz isn't the first political figure to find himself tangled up in online pornography. When the hair-trigger immediacy of Twitter was introduced to the sex scandal-laden world of politics, it was inevitable that a porn habit or two would find their way into the light of the Internet. We're able to enjoy these mini-scandals so thoroughly because there is no real victim other than the politician's image, which they have spent their entire adult lives fastidiously maintaining. Even sweeter is when the porn-watching politician has used their position to dictate how others should lead their sex lives. The embarrassment of being caught indulging in the very thing they forbid is enough to redirect the blood from their private parts to their face faster than a smartphone can snap a photo. And no matter if they actually did it or if it was, in fact, a hacker trying to put an end to their careers, we will never get tired of that bright-red look.
Of course, Cruz isn't the first political figure to find himself tangled up in online pornography. When the hair-trigger immediacy of Twitter was introduced to the sex scandal-laden world of politics, it was inevitable that a porn habit or two would find their way into the light of the Internet. We're able to enjoy these mini-scandals so thoroughly because there is no real victim other than the politician's image, which they have spent their entire adult lives fastidiously maintaining. Even sweeter is when the porn-watching politician has used their position to dictate how others should lead their sex lives. The embarrassment of being caught indulging in the very thing they forbid is enough to redirect the blood from their private parts to their face faster than a smartphone can snap a photo. And no matter if they actually did it or if it was, in fact, a hacker trying to put an end to their careers, we will never get tired of that bright-red look.
